Mom: Don't drink Coke at night, it's unhealthy to! There's CAFFEINE IN IT!
Me: Only a little, jeesh
Mom: A LITTLE?!? That still counts!
Me: You always have the weirdest excuses for things!
I'm thinking of what J said, which is totally true- I think about saying this but decide against it, in fear of another lecture regarding my friends
Mom: YEs you do!
Me: No, I mean you!
Mom: Not me, it's scientifically proven.... blahblahblah.... you won't be able to sleep, you're knowledge just isn't as plentiful....
Me: Relax.... plus caffeine has always made me sleepy for some reason...
Mom: YEA RIGHT
Me: It's true! Ask dad... it happens to him too!
Mom: DAD?!? DAD said sugar was good for him, and he has diabetes now! He doesn't know! Just like your grandpa, (dad's side) he used to smoke and smoke and smoke and everyone used to tell him not to but he still smoke and smoked and smoked!
Me: RELAX, drinking this won't kill me!
Mom: Not short term.... but long term.... LOOK HOW UR drinking it! Ur acting like it's beer or something!
I'm drinking the fizz on top of it down, because it's fun to
I explain this to her*
Mom: U drank the whole cup down!
Me: It's just CO2 and fizz... (i'm not letting her act as if she's the only scientist in here)
Mom: This is where it starts! And then college students all start getting addicted to coffee and things. It's long term that will get to you!
Me: Whoa chill, i'm only drinking this tonight, i hardly ever... you're acting as if I'm some kind of coca-cola addict
Mom: Well Okay fine but after tonight you can't!
Me: Jeesh... When you I have my own stand-up act, you and your excuses will DEFINETELY be in it! This is hilarious...
Mom: Go ahead and put me in it... it's YOU that's funny
Me: Surrrrre
Mom: Just tonight u drink it.... something obviously got u excited about something and ...blahblahbalh
I walk away from the kitchen and proceed to the other room
Mom's continuous lecturing fades out eventually as I walk off and as she realizes that she is being redundant*
I wonder what has made her such a anti-coka-cola activist tonight as I am in the other room...